Co-op: Chilli Chilli Bang Bang

Someone in Co-op's branding department needs to get fired. I'm all for a good pun. In fact there's not much I like more than a witty play on words. In the unlikely event of you being curious, here's some of the few things I do like more than puns: Take Me Out, my cat, freshly squeezed orange juice, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time and Krysten Ritter. That's about it. Everything else can git aurrt as far as I'm concerned.

Anyway, what ground my gears about the name of this pizza was that, sure, it had chillies on, and 'chilli' sounds like 'chitty' and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is a film, but so what? Chitty Chitty Bang Bang has nothing to do with this pizza, or any pizza. Perhaps if this pizza could somehow abduct children or had a terrible-to-the-point-of-being-potentially-racist cockney accent then I'd get it. But, to my knowledge, it can't and doesn't. (I should point out there weren't any children present at the eating of this pizza so I can't confirm or deny it's kidnapping skills outright). Also does Dick Van Dyke even have his silly accent in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? Or is that just in Mary Poppins? Don't answer, I so don't care about whether he does or not that I'm annoyed I even wrote it down, and I'm not going to waste even more time deleting it. But then explaining it to this extent is actually taking up even more time. Oh God. I'm just going to stop before this gets worse and I scratch my own eyes out.

6 out of 10

Co-op: Stonebaked Pastrami

I don't mind when supermarkets start branching out into non-supermarket things, like Tesco Mobile or whatever, but I think Co-op go too far. Co-op Funeralcare for example. Now call me paranoid, but I find the idea of eating food sold to me by people who will potentially make money if I die, slightly unnerving. That's like buying skis from a wheelchair salesman, or shampoo from a wigmaker.

Mind you, it seems I don't find it that unnerving as I happily wolfed this guy down. I like it when pizzas think outside the box almost as much as I like it when pizzas ARE outside the box, so I really enjoyed the whole New York vibe this guy was going for. Pastrami with a sachet horseradish mustardy stuff is something I haven't come across before.

Have you ever been to New York? It's great. If you haven't, it's pretty much exactly like how it looks in Ghostbusters 2, or in Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist or Crocodile Dundee. Basically any film set in New York is an accurate and reliable depiction of what it's like. Except for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze, that shit's ridiculous.

8 out of 10