Pizza Hut Buffet

About two years ago I made a promise to myself that I would never have the Pizza Hut buffet again. Sorry me, turns out I'm/you're an untrustworthy, weak-willed sneak. In my defence I only ate it for the sake of this review, because I was walking by and that it's £5.49 for unlimited pizza.

PIZZA FACTS:

1. Pizza Hut pizzas are cooked in motor oil.
2. That whole 'Pasta Hut' thing never happened. It was just a dream you once had.
3. The CEO of Pizza Hut is called Jabba. 

These are just a selection of the slices. I didn't want to review them all because it would be boring for you and embarrassing for me. I'm not going to tell you my magic number either. It's gross.

No meat? Seriously? There was a mysterious yellow cube on this guy, I didn't know what it was, all I know is that it wasn't meat and was poorer for it.

4 out of 10

This guy had little white lumps on that turned out to be chicken. He also had BBQ sauce instead of tomato. I really like BBQ sauce on pizzas. This is an awful, shameful secret that I hide from people like I'd hide the dead bodies of nine-year olds in my attic. (Don't worry, I don't have an attic).

7 out of 10

Pepperoni.

I almost wrote 'nuff said'. God, imagine if I had. That would have been dreadful. 

6 out of 10

This was a slice of Hawaiian. It was only when I got back to the table that I realised there was no ham on it, just pineapple. It was a fruit pizza, and therefore one of my five a day. Healthy living!

5 out of 10

Gregg's Pepperoni

This guy costs £1.19, had six pieces of pepperoni on and was slightly smaller than my hand. Those are probably the most interesting pieces of information about this little chap I can think of. I read somewhere that there are more Gregg's in the north of England than Starbucks. I don't really know what can be gleaned from this, perhaps sausage rolls are more popular in the north (likely) or expensive coffee with names that are hard to pronounce is less popular (also likely). Whatever the reason I don't think I care, sausage rolls can fuck off.

Gregg's needs to sort out their pepperoni distribution. If I hadn't specifically asked for this particularly meat-heavy guy I could have ended up paying the same price for what is known in the industry as a 'PepperNOni'. I wouldn't have been happy about that. Just thinking about it is going to cost you points Gregg or Gregg's. Also, stop hogging all the the 'G's, 50% of a name should never be made up of the same letter, that's just weird.

4 out of 10