Goodfella's Takeaway Fajita Chicken

I might have to send Goodfella's another e-mail. Isn't having 'Takeaway' on the box of a frozen pizza a blatant lie? Surely a frozen pizza is the opposite of a takeaway pizza. Surely to be a takeaway pizza I should be able to ring up, order a pizza, turn up and TAKE a ready cooked pizza AWAY. Doesn't the fact I had to buy this in a supermarket and cook it myself totally undermine the whole of point of takeaway? Maybe by 'takeaway' they mean it (eventually) tastes like a takeaway pizza, you know, once you've done all the work. Accuse me of cynicism but, to me, that definition seems a little tenuous.

Semantics aside I have to give this pizza credit for breaking down ethnic boundaries. Mexico and Italy/America joining forces to create something that combines both their national dishes in one tasty meal. Next stop, haggis masala.

7 out of 10

Goodfella's Pepperoni Pocco

What's a Pocco? I don't know. I'm assuming it's Italian for 'mini-pizza' because it said Pocco on the box and there were mini-pizzas in the box. Seems logical enough but I thought I better check before, God forbid, I make a sweeping cultural assumption. On the Goodfella's website there isn't anything about them.* What's stranger is that if you type 'Pocco' into an Italian-English translator nothing comes out. It's almost as if they don't exist...

If they don't and I just imagined it then I have quite a tasty imagination. However, and I understand this is quite a silly criticism for a mini-pizza, it was a bit small. Now I know this is like complaining about a horror film by saying "It was good, but too scary" or jazz music by saying "it's all over the place, there's no tune" but this pizza didn't last long enough. Chicago Town have their mini-pizza size down to a T, although I do usually eat two of those at a time.

Actually scratch that, that's a perfectly acceptable criticism of jazz. I hate jazz. Jazz is rubbish. This pizza, fictional or not, was way better than jazz.

7 out of 10

*Don't worry, I've sent an e-mail to Goodfella's notifying them of this. I'll let you know how that goes down/if they send me free pizzas.

Pizza Vending Machines

Check this out. A pizza vending machine. That's a bit weird. I'm not too keen on vending machines because they're usually overly expensive and they're making you pay for the convenience of not having to talk to some grumpy shop owner and I like talking to grumpy shop owners. Also the kinds of places where vending machines seem appropriate are like train station platforms or shopping centres, where the idea is you're perhaps a bit bored and hungry but not so hungry that you'd go and get a sandwich, you just want something to nibble on like a packet of crisps or a Twix. Not the full sized (I'm guessing 10"-12") pizzas this thing spits out. Look at that:

Even I think that's a bit gross. Do they come ready sliced? Or are you meant to sit there outside the swimming pool changing rooms stuffing an entire pizza into your mouth? Apparently there's this one in Italy that even cooks them with fresh ingredients. In 3 minutes. Not ready frozen or anything. There's a window where you can actually see little robo-arms kneading the dough and putting on the toppings and stuff. I'm hoping it also twiddles its robo-moustache and robo-chuckles when it pinches a passing lady-vending machine's robo-bum. The Italian swine. Seriously though, "Ew" (but shamefully also "Yum").